Coffee-Cocoa Fudge Cake

"And above all, think Chocolate!"
- Betty Crocker

This has got to be one of my favorite cooking-with-chocolate resources of all time:

"The Best of Fine Cooking; Chocolate"

This book isn't really a book at all. It's just a magazine. About yea high:

But this magazine has the unique ability to make me salivate, even if I happen to be thumbing through it while eating a salami sandwich.
Not that that's ever happened or anything. I'm just sayin'. It could. If it wanted to.

It has everything a chocolate lover could possibly dream about:

Chocolate for Breakfast... (glad I'm not alone in that area:)...Cookies...

Brownies and bars... Cakes...

Mousses and Souffles (ok, to be honest, I haven't attempted either - YET)...and many kinds of toppings...

What I'm trying to say, using psycho-babble techniques, and a multitude of useless pictures is this: if you're a chocolaholic, acquire this magazine by any means necessary. Bodily force, if necessary.
You will thank me.
And you'll thank Fine Cooking.

What I'm also trying to say is this: the other night, after agonizing for a good 20 minutes over which recipe I should try from this magazine, I selected this one:

I wasn't real sure how it would turn out, especially since I pretty much dumped it all together like so much goulash.
But let me inform you - it turned out heavenly.

If you care to prepare this food of the angels, here's what you'll need:

10 TBS. very soft butter, or 1 stick plus 2 TBS, if you're a simple-minded baker like me.
White sugar...

2 eggs. At room temperature.
At this point, it was probably around 9:30, and after staring at the words ROOM TEMPERATURE for a few annoyed seconds, I decided to put the eggs in a bowlful of warm water until I was ready to use them. It would have to do.
And it did.
I never knew the difference.
Next, flour. Of the all-purpose variety.

unsweetened cocoa powder (not Dutch-processed)

And then a few of those pesky, unimportant ingredients;
vanilla
salt
baking soda
baking powder...
...And some good quality brewed coffee. Cooled to warm. -ish. Again with the time thing, I just let it sit in a bowl of icy water for a few seconds before I gradually added it in. And once again, no discernible adverse side affects.

So to begin, cream the very-soft butter together with the sugar.
While watching the mixer go round and round, and sneaking a fingerful or two, I pondered this deep thought: I wonder how much butter/sugar creamed mixture I've consumed through my entire life thus far.
And I concluded that it's probably somewhere in the pounds family. Yike.
I wonder, does kilograms sound any less repulsive?

No matter. What's done is done. My thighs may hate me (or vice-versa), but that's another point entirely.

Next, add those hastily water-warmed eggs, and cream until fluffy.

And now, let your eyes rest upon these two heinous words for a few seconds:

I realize there are more than two words...but I was referring to the two prominent ones. By hand.

I hadn't realized how spoiled I'd gotten with the Kitchen Aid mixer doing all the hard work for me. (Hard? I'm hearing some raised eyebrows. Yes, I can hear them.) But whatever. I like whisks. Whisks are cool.
And so came forth the whisk:

Whisk in the vanilla and salt.

Then sift all those dry ingredients right over the creamed mixture.

Before you mix that up, add the coffee, slowly, if you're a perfectionist cooking freak-o, and quickly if you're a chocolate craving non-perfectionist cooking freak-o.
Due to my freak-o status, (guess which one), I dumped it all in rather quickly, and had mixed it up before I even remembered to take a picture.

Looks yummy, no?
No.
It looks yellow. But that's ok. I'm a picture-taking rookie.
Besides, it won't for long.

Pour it into your prepared pan...

...And then realize that it really wasn't your prepared pan. Not completely, anyway. You forgot to flour it. What's wrong with you?!!
Don't feel too bad, because apparently, the same thing's wrong with me.

So, since I just happened to have another identical pan, I just dumped the batter back into the bowl, prepared the other pan - and floured it this time - then poured the batter. Again.

And now bake at 350 for about 43 minutes. A little more, if you are able to abide by the directions and use a 9x9 in. pan. But I don't own one, so I had to use one a bit larger.

And now, as for that frosting...
I had to use a bit of imagination, because I didn't have the ingredients needed for the ganache that the recipe suggested (i.e., heavy cream). I can give you the ingredients I used for my frosting, but I'm afraid that's all. There was no measuring involved.
Besides, you'll probably want to use the ganache recipe, anyway. Because I bet it's good enough to melt your socks off. Or rot your teeth out, if you're a glass-is-half-empty type of person.
Nevertheless, here's what I dumped into a saucepan, melted together and drizzled over my cake:
butter
chocolate chips
sweetened condensed milk
vanilla
very strong coffee
creamer (half and half)

So there you have it. The texture of this cake is perfect: thick, but not too dense. Moist, but not wet. And the flavor is a perfect balance of coffee and chocolate.

Please, I beg you: make and enjoy!!!


Coffee-Cocoa Fudge Cake
10 Tbs. very soft unsalted butter; more for the pan
1-2/3 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. table salt
1-1/2 cups plus 2 tablespoons unbleached all-purpose flour; more for the pan
1/2 cup plus 1/3 cup unsweetened natural cocoa powder (not Dutch-processed)
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1-1/2 cups good-quality brewed coffee, cooled to warm

1. Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat the oven to 350°F. Generously butter a 9-inch-square baking pan. Line the bottom of the pan with a square of parchment, butter the parchment, and then flour the bottom and sides of the pan. Tap out any excess flour.

2. If mixing by hand, put the softened butter and sugar in a medium bowl. Using a wooden spoon, cream them until smooth, about 1 minute. Switch to a whisk and blend in the eggs one at a time. Stir for another 30 seconds, until the batter is smooth and the sugar begins to dissolve. (If using a stand mixer, put the butter and sugar in the bowl and, using the paddle attachment, cream until smooth, about 1 minute. Blend in the eggs one at a time, mixing just until incorporated, about 20 seconds. Then switch to a whisk and blend in the rest of the ingredients by hand.)

3. Mix in the vanilla and salt. Sift the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and baking powder directly onto the batter. Pour in the coffee. Gently whisk the ingredients until the mixture is smooth and mostly free of lumps.

4. Pour the batter into the prepared pan, spreading it evenly with a rubber spatula. Bake until a skewer inserted in the center comes out with only moist crumbs clinging to it, 40 to 43 minutes. Set the pan on a rack to cool for 20 minutes. Carefully run a knife around the edges of the pan, invert the cake onto the rack, and remove the pan. Invert again onto another rack and let cool right side up until just warm.

Ganache
8 oz. bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup heavy cream; more as needed
Granulated sugar (optional)

1. Put the chocolate in a medium heatproof bowl. In a small saucepan, bring the cream to a boil.
2. Pour the hot cream over the chocolate and whisk gently until the chocolate is completely melted and smooth. (If using a 70% bittersweet chocolate, the ganche might be a bit thick; add more cream, a tablespoon at a time, to thin it. You might also want to add a couple of teaspoons of sugar when you add the hot cream.

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Carrot Cake

Today, I have decided to share with you a delicious and nutritious carrot cake recipe. Well, it's delicious. I wouldn't call it nutritious...per se.
But I'm going to share it anyway.

Because I want to.

Carrot Cake
1 1/2 C. all-purpose flour
1 1/3 C. sugar
1/2 C. sweetened flaked coconut
1/3 C. chopped pecans
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
3 TBS. canola oil
2 large eggs
2 C. grated carrot
1 1/2 C. (1 can) crushed pineapple, drained
Cooking spray

Frosting:
2 TBS. butter, softened
1 8-oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
3 C. powdered sugar
2 tsp. vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. To prepare cake, combine flour, sugar, coconut, pecans, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a large bowl; stir well with a whisk.
3. In mixing bowl, combine oil and eggs; blend. Stir flour mixture, grated carrot and pineapple into oil/egg mixture.
4. Spoon batter into a 13x9-inch baking pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool completely on a wire rack.
5. To prepare the frosting, combine butter and cream cheese in a large bowl. Beat with a mixer at medium speed until smooth. Beat in powdered sugar and vanilla just until smooth. Spread frosting over top of cake. Garnish each serving with grated carrot, if desired.

So, first of all, you'll need about 3 carrots.
If you can't find freakishly huge, gargantuan-sized carrots like these, 4 regular sized ones will probably do the trick.

Oh, and a paper plate adds much to the overall elegance of the whole process.

I know these aren't actually that big. I didn't use the ginormous one. It still rests peacefully in the produce drawer of the fridge, awaiting it's future fate.

Peel the carrots, and then cut each one into about 3 pieces. Just small enough to fit into the food processor.

Using the small-grate blade thingy, (or the large grate, if you prefer big hunks of carrot in your cake), shred them all up.

Isn't the blessed soul who invented the food processor worthy of a Nobel Peace Price...or something?
I agree.

Anyway, the carrots need to equal about 2 cups. I had just a little bit more, so instead of saving a teensy bit for garnish like I would have done if I were intelligent and thoughtful, I just packed it all in and called it 2 cups.

Now, you'll need to combine the flour and sugar...

With the coconut, pecans, baking soda and salt.

Oh yeah, and cinnamon.

Mix it all together until it resembles...this:

(Don't worry. I'm making a mental note not to use orange tupperware for this again.)

Now, in your mixing bowl, combine the eggs and oil.

Then you're going to dump the carrots, pineapple and flour mixture into the egg/oil goop.

Mix it up until it looks like this:
(Revolting)

Now spread it in the pan until it looks like this:
(Revolting. Still.)

Here. Have a closeup.
Don't puke.

Ugh! Don't even think about the resemblance to puke.
Oops. Didn't want to bring that up.

Sorry. That was disgustingly corny. No more up-chucking puns.

Now that we've all lost our appetites, let's get on with the cooking.
Put the pan of yummy, mouthwatering batter into the oven at 350. It should bake for about 35 minutes. I thought it looked a little overdone, but it turned out to be perfect.


Now, I shall skip the frosting preparation pictures, because they turned out horribly. Suffice it to say, you mix up all the frosting ingredients, beat until smooth, then spread on cake.

It slathers on thick and creamy. (The only reason the frosting looks slightly lumpy in the very top picture is because I tried re-smoothing it the next day before I took the picture. Not one of my brighter ideas.)

Serve and sing the hallelujah chorus.

Happy cooking!

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Yellow Cake

Also known as "Definitely Not Birthday Cake"

So, my birthday was a few days ago. And as most everyone probably knows, I decided to postpone my birthday celebration until July. The 10th, probably.
Just for fun, and because I feel like it, etc.
So I refused all presents (except for 3:), didn't have a party of any sort, and definitely did not make a birthday cake for myself.

I just had a random urge to make a random cake on a random day. Ok?!

I've been trying for years to make a yellow or white cake from scratch that wasn't dry, or that doesn't taste funny. And while it's not the perfect yellow cake, this one is maybe 1/2 step closer than I've ever gotten to a moist, from-scratch cake.
The main problem was that it was bland. And still dry.

First, you cream 1 cup (2 sticks) of room-temperature butter until it's fluffy
Then you add 2 cups of sugar and cream it until it looks something like this:


After which, you add 4 eggs. Beat well after each egg. It will look sorta like this:


Next, you add flour and milk alternately. The recipe calls for whole milk, but since whole milk has never crossed the threshold of this house, I improvised with half sweetened condensed milk, and half skim. Don't know that I'd recommend that, but it worked in a pinch, with no obvious horrible effect on the cake.
Anyway, you gradually do the flour/milk thing, and then mix it just until blended.

Pour it into 3 greased and floured 9-inch pans...


And smooth the batter out.


And then comes the fun part.
You get to bang and crash and make all kinds of noise.
You could even scream if you wanted to - just for kicks.
Lift each cake pan and drop it on the counter 2 or 3 times. Not too hard. You don't want cake batter sloshing all over the place. But doing this gets rid of any big air bubbles and makes the cake finer textured.


Pop 'em in the oven...(I'll pop 'em on the head, and you do the skinnin'!)
(If you don't know what that's from, get thee to a movie store, where you must buy the cartoon version of 101 Dalmations.)

Anyway, pop 'em in the oven for 25 to 30 minutes and then....


Voila! Cakes! Lovely golden brown cakes.

Now comes the purely ingenious step. After you let them cool for 5-10 minutes, you wrap them in plastic wrap to seal in the moisture.


Such a thing had never occurred to me until I found this recipe on the wondrous Bakerella's site.


You leave them wrapped in plastic until they cool - which, in my case, was overnight, because they came out of the oven around midnight.

And now, for the frosting: (my Old Faithful fluffy chocolate frosting recipe)

You need 2 1-oz. squares of unsweetened chocolate. Chop it up - it makes it melt faster.


Once you have a nice pile of chocolate...


Zap it in the microwave for 15 seconds at a time until it's melted and creamy.


Now you cream 2 sticks of butter, and add some light corn syrup and some Confectioner's sugar. Then beat it until it's all fluffy and delicious looking:


Now comes the fun part. Drizzle the melted chocolate slowly into the creamed mixture, with the mixer on a low speed.









And now, for the assembly!
Unwrap the first layer and with great care and precision, place it on a plate.


Spread on some frosting...




And repeat with each layer.


Until you have one tower of a cake.


Now, the most important step of all: sample it.




The verdict:
Sigh. I really wanted this cake to be The It. It was rather involved - which, to me, makes it fun - and it was different from any recipe I've ever tried, but it still wasn't moist or particularly flavorful.
It's probably my fault for not using the whole milk.

Either way, the cake is ok, but not IT.

The search goes on...

Happy Cooking!

P.S. Even though the cake isn't really worth trying, the frosting is.

Fluffy Chocolate Frosting
1 C. butter, softened
2 TBS. light corn syrup
4 C. Confectioner's sugar
2 1-oz. squares unsweetened chocolate, melted

1. In mixing bowl, beat butter on medium-high speed until creamy - about a minute and a half.
2. Add corn syrup. Mix well.
3. With mixer on low speed, gradually add powdered sugar, mixing until blended. Beat for about 1 minute.
4. Slowly add melted chocolate and beat well.

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